Hi there! In keeping with the trend of ‘posting differently’ (with regards to social media), I wanted to write an apology for how I spoke on Episode 109 of the Janchi Show. Since the episode dropped, a listener reached out and said (paraphrasing), “Hey, just wanted to fact check you…”
And I really, really appreciated it.
We really strive to make our podcast a safe space for as many people in the adoption constellation as possible. I messed up, I got graciously called out by a listener, and I’m grateful for the opportunity practice apologizing.
Somewhere in the middle of the episode, I stopped making it clear that I was speaking from my own experience, perspective and journey with adoption and the adoptee community. I was doing my best to have my mouth keep up with my head, and I fell into some patterns of thinking that hadn’t been complexified and nuanced-out. I stopped speaking slowly and in the midst of that, said some things in a way that caused some listeners to say “hm…that’s not quite right.”
I was basking in the glow of some other, really incredible, KADs, and I hadn’t slowed down to reflect on that moment (I say as much in the episode). I brought some private thoughts public too quickly, and as I spoke about my own upbringing and experience, trying to speak intelligently and crack jokes along the way, I got lazy. I forgot a lot about what I’d learned—about Asian American history, about adoptee history—and in my laziness I spoke in broad generalizations.
I’m sorry that my laziness created “head-tilt” moments for some listeners. I’m sorry that I perpetuated some wrong and hurtful ideas about multiple communities. I’m sorry that I dishonored the legacy of those who have come before me by forgetting. To be honest, I listened to what I said twice, and I’m still listening to past-KJ, and I’m trying work on shifting my paradigm. How could I have said what I wanted to say better? How could I be more nuanced? How can I make sure I don’t repeat this moment?
I’m sorry. I’ll work harder. And I hope that as I stumble along the way, listeners continue to call me out and push me to be better.